E mmanuel
E mmanuel from Pastor Kurt Busiek
Pray for: Bob and Edna McVay-chemo, Wayne Gates-neck rehab, Karen Cox-fatigue, Landon Butterfield-a miracle, Geraldine Cox-leg tests, Virginia Gray-strength, Kathi Alfred-neck surgery, Connie Deem-mobility, Kathy Harrison-biopsy, Sebastian Huffman-tests, Rebecca Isaacs-pregnancy, Lee Ann Kellison-back surgery rehab, Jack Poe-mobility, Rick Kalt-chemo, Lisa Whirtley-chemo, Darrin Bailey- strength, Ralph Click-surgery.
A teacher once told each of her students to bring a clear plastic bag and a sack of potatoes to school. The students were instructed to call to mind every person they had a grudge against. For every person they refused to forgive, they chose a potato, wrote on it the name and date, and put it in the plastic bag. They were told to carry this bag with them everywhere, putting it beside their bed at night, on the car seat when driving, on their lap when riding, next to their desk during classes. Some bags became quite heavy. Lugging this around, paying attention to it all the time, and remembering not to leave it in embarrassing places was a hassle. Over time the potatoes became moldy, smelly, and began to sprout "eyes.” Often we think of forgiveness as a gift to the other person, but it clearly is a gift to ourselves. It feels good to release the burden of bitterness.
The following is a long quote from a sermon on “Forgiveness” by Lewis Smedes. I thought it was very good. Enjoy. Have a good day.
“Forgiveness is not forgetting. Forgiveness is hard; forgetting is easy. It’s not painful. You need no miracle of grace to get you to forget. All you need is a bad memory or fear enough to force you to drive the memory into the dark pit of your unconscious. If God could have forgotten, he would not have needed a cross. He could have just said, “It doesn’t matter, I’ve forgotten it.” Forgetting is not forgiving. Forgiving is remembering and still forgiving.
Second, forgiving is not excusing. Oh, we all need a lot of excusing for the dumb things we do. I know that I often get excused because I’m working too hard. We workaholics always have the edge. Nobody dares refuses to excuse us for working so hard. So I’ve got it made on the question of excusing. But we all excuse each other for so many things. I know you’re a flake, but you’re my kind of flake. My husband is a clod, but with the mother he had to grow up with, what would you expect? You see, excusing is easy. Excusing is an end run around the pain and the challenge of forgiveness. You can excuse almost anything if you understand it well enough.
Forgiveness at bottom is a very simple miracle. It is the miracle of a new beginning, a new beginning starting at the moment where you are, not where you wish you were but at the place you are together, to begin again. When you truly forgive someone you hold out your hand and you say, “I cannot excuse what you’ve done. I cannot understand what you’ve done. I cannot forget what you’ve done. Here’s my hand. I want to be your friend again. I want to be your husband again. I want to be your father again. Let’s begin over.”
When we’re ready to forgive we do not have to understand everything. We do not have to get the story straight. We don’t have to sew all the loose ends together in our minds. All we need to do is to begin where we are in our shared pain and determine to walk into the future together.
What future? Who knows—it may be a future where we will have more pain, more confessing, and more new beginnings. We never settle it once and for all. Forgiveness does not guarantee a painless future between you.
Nor can forgiveness turn back the clock. We have to begin where we are, and sometimes that means that we have to begin a brand new relationship. A divorced person may have to forgive her estranged husband, but then, other than as man and wife, they’ve got to begin again where they are. Sometimes a child, perhaps a very old child, angry at a parent, needs to forgive a parent already dead. And then the forgiveness has to be a new beginning with the memory of the parent now gone.
Whatever the quality of the moment, whatever the status of the relationship, when you sense that another person has shared the pain that he or she has caused you, you are ready to forgive if you have grace enough to do it. And there’s the rub. As long as we are relating as sinful persons to sinful persons, confession is such a great risk. I may not have the grace to forgive you. You have to risk it with me.”