Psalm 79:  Anger: When You Feel Your Back Is Against the Wall   6 14 09

In his 2007 article "All the Rage," Andrew Santella observes that anger is a prominent emotion in American life. Our politics is dominated by angry rhetoric; cases of road rage are increasingly common. TV shows show angry relational encounters and criminal arrests.  Books explaining both the benefits and the dangers of anger. Peter Wood in A Bee in the Mouth, writes that a sure sign of America's problem with anger is the tone of its politics: "For the first time in our political history, declaring absolute hatred for one's opponent has become a sign not of sad excess, but of good character." 

Prevalent as it is, anger is a bit mysterious; it can be either one's greatest liability or one's greatest asset. Carol Tavris, Anger: The Misunderstood Emotion:  “I have watched people use anger, in the name of emotional liberation, to erode affection and trust, whittle away their spirits in bitterness and revenge, diminish their dignity in years of spiteful hatred. And I watch with admiration those who use anger to probe for truth, who challenge and change the complacent injustices of life.”  What's your anger experience?

We might think an inwardly quiet, reserved family is healthier than an outwardly loud, boisterous, interactive family but is it?

Ps 79 is a "community lament" psalm written while the nation in exile in Babylon longing for their home.  
The Psalm contains a series of complaints: the Babylonians have destroyed the temple, the city is in ruins, many died and were given no burial-degrading; the nations are scoffing at God's inability to act.
The psalmist asks God to do something:  to wake up, take notice, to help, to take action against the evil nations and most importantly to remember the covenant agreement which promised protection.  “As they have poured out our blood, O God, pour out your judgment on them.”  Ps. 79 is a desperate prayer to God asking not so much for personal vengeance but rather for God to honor His name by rescuing I. Notice the brutal honesty, uncensored, passionate, angry feel: “God’s we’re dying!  Help us! Now!”

* Psalm 79:  O God, the nations have invaded your inheritance; they have defiled your holy temple, they have reduced Jerusalem to rubble.  2 They have given the dead bodies of your servants as food to the birds of the air, the flesh of your saints to the beasts of the earth.  3 They have poured out blood like water all around Jerusalem, and there is no one to bury the dead. 4 We are objects of reproach to our neighbors, of scorn and derision to those around us.  5 How long, O LORD Will you be angry forever? How long will your jealousy burn like fire? 6 Pour out your wrath on the nations that do not acknowledge you, on the kingdoms that do not call on your name; 7 for they have devoured Jacob and destroyed his homeland.  8 Do not hold against us the sins of the fathers; may your mercy come quickly to meet us, for we are in desperate need. 9 Help us, O God our Savior, for the glory of your name; deliver us and forgive our sins for your name's sake. 10 Why should the nations say, "Where is their God?" Before our eyes, make known among the nations that you avenge the outpoured blood of your servants.  11 May the groans of the prisoners come before you; by the strength of your arm preserve those condemned to die. 12 Pay back into the laps of our neighbors seven times the reproach they have hurled at you, O Lord. 13 Then we your people, the sheep of your pasture, will praise you forever; from generation to generation we will recount your praise.”
 
Ps. 79 is fueled by anger, let’s take a moment to reflect on anger as an emotion:
*What is anger?
Anger in and of itself is not bad; God created us to get angry sometimes.  Jesus in the temple was angry because he saw the poor being hurt: love.
Lewis, "Anger is the fluid that love bleeds when it gets cut."
Ps. 86:15, “Lord is compassionate & gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness…”
Psychologists: anger is a secondary emotion—anger arises in response to another emotion: hurt or fear. Neurobiologists tell us our anger response is hardwired into our bodies, actual involuntary physiological changes occur within our body when we are angry: adrenaline is pumped into the blood, our blood pressure goes up, our eyes dilate and our muscles are supplied w energy.  Anger gets us ready for action: to fight or take flight.  Some express anger with an active, in your face, hostility, red faced/ blood boiling/ ready for a fight “you lookin at me”;  while others express anger by becoming silent, pulling back, withdrawing  or fleeing from further conflict:  passive aggressive: “Catch me if you can.” Anger: in a marriage you’ll see one person who is outwardly angry while the other goes inward with the dreaded silent treatment.

Anger is used for self protection, deflection- we get caught, and distancing- we fear people getting close.
Anger often is found where there is some unmet need or desire. Wanting more stuff, more control or independence, love, acceptance, respect; we want life like it was before our illness, the divorce or death.  James 4:1,“What causes fights/ quarrels among you?  Don’t they come from your desires that battle w/in you

* We feel anger when we believe that we've been wronged.  
We live in a society defined by rights!!
In Ps. 79, the anger stems from his belief that the Babylonians have wronged the writer and his nation.  There is an underlying sense that “life is not fair” and “life is hard.”  Hoping life would turn out better:
Anger in a baseball game because the pitcher hits the batter… Anger on the road or highway because the idiot cut me off…
Anger happens when we believe that someone has invaded our space, broken the rules, tried to hurt us.
The last few years we’ve had teams in the church softball league and Y b-ball league where anger has been expressed at refs and umps

* When we feel anger, we want to hurt those who have wronged us:  revenge & vindication natural.
Psalm 79:10 & 12:  “Why should the nations say, "Where is their God?" Before our eyes, make known among the nations that you avenge the outpoured blood of your servants….”  
“Pay back into the laps of our neighbors seven times the reproach they have hurled at you.”
The psalmist asks God to pour out his wrath on the Babylonians because they have poured our blood.
When we're mad, we want the people who have hurt us to experience what we are experiencing.
Anger can be very dangerous, because we are tempted to do things now that we’ll would regret later.
Vengeance is our natural, default mode.  We hurt, we want the other person to hurt.  You invaded my space, you did something unkind or unfair and now you will pay.  I want you to hurt like I hurt.
"Speak when you are angry--and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret." * Laurence J. Peter
-In Colson's book The Body, he tells about a congregation in Maine that became so divided that a fist fight broke out between the pastor and the deacon board chairman. The fight began during the worship service in front of the communion table, and became so intense the police had to come to break it up.

* Angry communication firecrackers: Threats-I’ll get you, Name Calling-you stupid, idiot, Blame-It’s all your fault, Exaggeration- You’ve got to be the most spoiled/selfish person in the world.  I hate you.

* James 1:19, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires…”  Anger can be helpful when it is controlled and focused but unrestrained/ spontaneous anger rarely helps.  Parent, get angry, you lose.
* Prov. 29:11, “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise person keeps himself under control.”

Let’s look at how the writer of Psalm 79 managed his anger.  What did he do?
 * In dealing with our anger, we must first admit we are angry.
The psalmist does nothing to conceal his anger; he doesn't censor his prayer to make it more polite.   Norm Wright:  “One reason anger is so difficult for most of us to deal with is that we are not comfortable admitting that we are angry. This is especially true for many Christians who believe that anger is a sign of spiritual immaturity or weakness.”    I can imagine some people coming up to Jesus after he cleared the temple and saying, “You know that display of anger was really inappropriate.  We just don’t do that here.”  But the Bible says, “Zeal for his Father’s house overcame him.”
Sometimes if we admit we’re angry it means they’ve won, they’re getting to us… so we hold it in.

* Stages of Grief:  denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance:  "I feel fine."  "This can't be happening/ Why me? its’ not fair!”  “Just let me live until…”  “It’s no use, why try anymore. It’s hopeless”  “I’m okay. I’ll do what I can day by day & trust that God will help me.” Denial re their anger.

-For years I refused to deal with my anger because it seemed so wrong for a pastor to be angry until we were with our good friends in Boston, and we were talking one night about our life and struggles and we prayed together. Tom said, “Kurt, you’re an incredibly angry person and you need to deal with it.”
If we don't admit our anger, we internalize it in destructive ways.  Often we just don’t see it until someone else who knows us and loves us shares a word of insight about our heart, and then we see.

Internalized anger can become depression or literal sickness…
-In Forrest Gump, Jenny, Forrest’s love since childhood, returned to her old home after her father died.  The old farmhouse was run down and abandoned.  As she reflected on the abuse she endured as a child, she was overcome with rage and threw rocks at the house uncontrollably until she fell down exhausted in the dirt.  Forrest reflected, “Sometimes there just aren’t enough rocks.”  Move from rocks to healing.

* We need to express our anger to God in prayer.
We are used to filtering our prayers through a grid of theological correctness.  Many prayers sound like happy talk.
Psalm 79 is an "unsanitized" prayer; it is a cry from the heart that might not sound exactly right but…
God can handle our anger because he knows what we're thinking and feeling anyway.  He’s a big God.
By expressing our anger to God in prayer, we release some of its toxicity & begin the process of healing.
Revealing your feeling is the beginning of healing: The word for revealing your feeling is confession
Confession: to God- 1 John 1:9 & to one another- James 5:16. We miss a key aspect of spirituality.

Yancey:  “One bold message in the Bible is that you can say anything to God.  Throw at him your grief, your anger, your doubt, your bitterness, your betrayal, your disappointment, God can hear and absorb them all.  All the great men and women in the Bible are shown wrestling with God.  They prefer to go away limping like Jacob, rather than to shut God out.  The Bible encourages us not to deny our feelings or try to bury them.  God can deal with every human response except one.  God will allow us to ignore him or to treat him as though he does not exist.  That response never once occurred to Job who spoke those amazing words:  “Thou He slay me, yet I will trust in Him.”  1 Pet. 5:7, “Cast cares on the Lord…”

* We need to assess our own role in the situation.
Psalm 79:9:  “Help us, O God our Savior, for the glory of your name; deliver us and forgive our sins for your name's sake.”   Note it’s not just blaming the Babylonians he’s also admitting his own wrongdoing.  
As he takes inventory of his actions, the psalmist realizes his sins have played a role in what he's experiencing.   Key:  What have I done or said or not done or said that has contributed to this problem.  An example w marriage:  My wife may be angry but I’ve been too busy to listen to her all week she feels lonely.
When we're mad, we must take time to assess how we might have contributed to the problem.
Anger often results from conflicting expectations.  Les Parrot refers to as: unspoken rules (what we expect people to do-voice down/ avoid conflict) and unconscious roles (who we expect people to be-my father was helpful and a good provider…).  We expect people to be and do certain things, get angry…
We live by rules that, while not openly discussed, still govern the way we operate, get angry when others don’t live up to our unspoken assumptions and expectations.  This is maddening but true…
People from an alcoholic/ abusive homes learn certain rules to survive:  don’t talk, don’t trust, don’t feel.  Many women get mad at men because they don’t communicate like a woman.  “I am not a woman!!”

* We need to seek forgiveness for our role in the situation.
Psalm 79:8–9:  “Do not hold against us the sins of the fathers; may your mercy come quickly to meet us, for we are in desperate need. 9 Help us, O God our Savior, for the glory of your name; deliver us and forgive our sins for your name's sake.”  
The psalmist asks for God's mercy,  mercy is only needed if sin has been committed.   He asks God to forgive his own sins & the sins of his people.  Sin is not just individual, it’s corporate.   We need take ownership of any role we've played in the situation apologize.
Warren: “You can't have fellowship without forgiveness because bitterness and resentment always destroy fellowship. Sometimes we hurt each other intentionally and sometimes unintentionally, but either way, it takes massive amounts of mercy and grace to create and maintain fellowship.
The Bible says, "You must make allowance for each other's faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others" (Colossians 3:13 NLT).
The mercy God shows to us is the motivation for us to show mercy to others. Whenever you're hurt by someone, you have a choice: Will I use my energy and emotions for retaliation or for resolution?
Many people are reluctant to show mercy because they don't understand the difference between trust and forgiveness. Forgiveness is letting go of the past. Trust has to do with future behavior.
Forgiveness must be immediate, whether or not a person asks for it. Trust must be rebuilt over time.

* We need to share our hurt/ anger directly to the person involved.
See Matt. 18.  This is hard but needed.  How many have had a person come to you, angry, with an honest concern:  fun? helpful?
Anger is a gift because it’s a window to the soul of what a person really feels is important.  Pull back:
There’s an old saying:  “Hurt people, hurt people.”  When someone lashes out in anger, often due to hurt.  Will you listen and learn or seek revenge?
If we don’t express our angry to the person involved, it will come out, often to others, gossip or slander.

* We need to leave room for God to work.
Here we just need to look at the teaching and the example of Jesus.  His teaching from Luke 6:  “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.”  His example:  1 Peter 2: 23, “When they hurled insults at him, he did not retaliate;  when he suffered, he make not threats.  Instead he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.” 
Paul reminds us in Romans 12:17–19:  “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay, says the Lord.”

* Serenity Prayer: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;  the courage to change the things I can;  and the wisdom to know the difference.”  Much anger is focused on areas we can’t change but we refuse to admit it. So we beat our heads against a brick wall and curse our lot in life. But what we really need to do is to step back from our anger and say, “God, I can’t but you can.”

Tim Jackson:  “The solution for our anger requires a growing and deepening confidence in the presence and promises of the One we cannot see.  We must, through the disappointments, losses and maddening frustrations of life, learn to believe that our well being lies not in our demands but his His hands.  We must be changed from within by the conviction that God is with us, that He knows what we need, that He alone is able to provide for us, and that nothing is more important than learning to trust Him in this imperfect and frightening world.”

I noticed less fights in final Stanley Cup hockey games this year?  Why?  Because the players are focused on something else besides being wronged or hurt.  They have their eyes on the prize, the Stanley Cup… so with us, if we have our eyes on God, we will be less inclined to waste energy in frivolous fights.
Jesus when he was hurt, did not retaliate, instead he entrusted himself to God who judges justly.

Conclusion:
Psalm 79 doesn't give us a step-by-step formula for dealing with our anger, but it does assure us of God's presence at all times.  * Psalm 79: 13, “Then we your people, the sheep of your pasture, will praise you forever; from generation to generation we will recount your praise.”  Acceptance…

It's when we remember this that we come back to ourselves. I don't see movies very much, but one I remember seeing with my wife is The Notebook. It's a love story about Noah and his wife Allie. Most of the movie is about their young love together and how they met, but every now and then, the movie tells the other end of their life, showing them in their old age. Allie has developed Alzheimer's disease, and she's in a nursing home. Noah doesn't have to be there, but he insists on staying with her. Some years before, she had written down the story of their love in a notebook. Every day, Noah comes, they have lunch together, and Noah takes out the notebook and reads Allie the story of their love. As he reads the story, her eyes will open every now and then, and she comes back to him for a few minutes.

That's what the Bible is. The Bible is God's covenant love story for his people through all the ages. When we're in the depths of despair, angry at life, angry at God, and it seems that the Lord has rejected us forever and his mercy is gone, we take out the notebook and we read, "In the beginning, God created" and "he delivered my people out of Egypt with a mighty hand," and "God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son." When we read, we come back to reality, and we know who we are because we know who God is, what he has done, and that his unfailing love will never perish.

Prayer:

Closing Hymn No. 292:  “God of Grace and God of Glory”